Rubber Soul.

My husband posts a daily, local weather report on Facebook, usually with a “this day in history” note. Today he noted the 49th anniversary of “Rubber Soul” and asked what’s your favorite cut. I couldn’t answer because I’ve never been able to choose a favorite cut or even a favorite Beatle. But this album was life changing for me and I’m grateful that my mother gave it to me for Christmas in 1965. 

Just before school started that September, we moved from L.A. to La Jolla (near San Diego.) The adjustment to our new lives was not going well. My mother had her own adjustments to make and I don’t know how she found it in herself to care about our needs. We were all pretty miserable. Then on top of the misery, most of us were sick with the flu that Christmas.

I was allowed to go see the Beatles at the Hollywood Bowl just before we moved so everyone knew I was a “Beatlemaniac.” But my brother teased me incessantly about it, as he did about everything, and so I didn’t talk much about the Beatles. I listened to the radio by myself in my room, with the volume as low as I could get it and still be able to hear it! I never had to wait too long to hear a Beatle song. We weren’t a family who bought albums of any kind, much less Beatles albums! Oh, we had a record player, but very few records and none of them were rock’n’roll records.! I had only purchased one 45 record! 

So when I opened that gift and saw the album cover, I was shocked. I remember looking over at my mother to thank her and she just looked at me and sort of nodded her head and gave me fleeting smile. After all the wrapping paper had been cleared away most of us were too sick to do anything beyond sprawl around on the sofas or floor. I put the record on the turntable and lay down on the floor with my ear up against the speaker so I could keep the volume low. I didn’t want to bother anyone, sure, but mostly I didn’t want to share my first listen with everyone in the room. I felt transported to my own little world where no one could reach me or bother me or tease me. 

Now, my mother always supported all of us in our interests so this wasn’t really a first. But it felt significant. And so in my memory, the magic of my first listen to Rubber Soul will always be associated with my mother’s fleeting smile of acknowledgement and the feeling that she understood who I was at that moment in time. Or maybe she didn’t understand me at all, but simply walked into the record store and asked for the most recent Beatles album! That’s OK too.

“Though I know I'll never lose affection 

For people and things that went before, 

I know I'll often stop and think about them 

In my life I love you more.”

In My Life  (Lennon-McCartney) From Rubber Soul